How to Help Those Who Aren't Quite as Bright and Optimistic.

Yech. Don't you just hate people who are always so negative? They go around minding their own business until you ask them how there day is and they respond with something along the lines of "it's been shitty." Oh but you, being the bright-eyed idealist wearing rose-colored sunglasses that are also wearing rose-colored sunglasses are not gonna have this. So what's the best way to curbstomp this person's negative attitude that might otherwise be apart of who they are? Just follow these three easy steps, and you will be completely successful.

Step one: Show no sympathy. I mean come on, every day is a day to seize the carpe, or day, or whatever, especially for you, so bugger to all those who you go up to and ask them yourself to see how shitty their day is, and then reprimand them vehemently for doing so (I mean seriously, you went through all that trouble to go up and ask them how their day is and they ungratefully reply by saying their's sucks??? UNACCEPTABLE!) Which brings us to the next step.

Step two: Blame all the negativity on them for being such angsty cunts. So what if their close relatives died/everything they owned was burned in a housefire/they're just miserable failures at everything in life? It's clearly all their fault for not being able to recognize how beautiful life itself is, especially since it allows you to come up at them with your double rainbows and butterflies so you can try shoving your life's philosophy down their sorry gullets.

Step three: Don't give a fuck what they think, or what other people might think in general. Just because humans are social creatures doesn't mean we should have regard for one another, right? Of course we don't, and I don't need to elaborate on this because I know I'm right. You can say whatever the hell you want, but I won't care. I don't need to respect anybody else or their thoughts because the only person who deserves respect is myself!

And believe me, I would know all this. After all, I'm the one with TWO rose tinted sunglasses obstructing my line of sight, so everything I see is definitely the unvarnished truth.